Gimme a P! A! I! N!

My calves are officially in PAIN.

Wednesday night, I woke up 5 times. FIVE times.

Granted, twice it was strictly a potty break for me or the dog since Soprano and I were built with the same size bladder. (Without fail, neither one of us can make it through the night without a little "relief".)

However, the other three times I woke up braced for the mind-numbing, body-tensing, muscle-gripping ACHE of a Charlie Horse in not one, but BOTH calves.

Each time I threw off the covers, jumped out of bed and tried desperately to stretch the muscle in both calves that extends up behind the knee.

Despite the pain, I managed to make it through work on Thursday. And admittedly, I was a little apprehensive about attending a Boot Camp session with this much "hurt" happening in the back of my legs.

I decided to "snack" on a couple hundred milligrams of Motrin at about 4:00 PM, and finally mustered the strength to leave my comfy, nap-like state on the couch and go exercise at around 6:00.

To be honest, I summoned the energy to leave my house by envisioning the MonkeyWhisperer and the HeadShrinker standing in my kitchen, holding my water bottle and the keys to my car.

And as long as I'm being honest, I tried to generate the same image starring the BandGirl, but all I could see was the BandGirl next to me on my couch, doubled-over in a fit of laughter. While it was an amusing image, it wasn't a very useful motivational tool...

When I arrived at Boot Camp, I was paired for Partner Night with the Cheerleader (a self-proclaimed small-town, Midwestern girl, with a cute little body, perpetual smile and a long blond ponytail to complete the mental picture).

Working with the Cheerleader, a fellow 12-week Boot Camper, proved to be exactly the dose of enthusiasm and spunk that I needed to recharge my spirit and make it through the night.

It started with a dare from me: "We've been here longest. We should be able to outlast all these newbies in the squat-til-you-drop challenge, Cheerleader!"

And we did.

Then we were directed to run/walk/jog a lap around the park.

And that's when she dared me: "Hey Blogger, there's no SuperCuz to protect you now, so you're running with ME tonight, and you're going to run past the farthest point you've ever run on this track."

And I did!

The Cheerleader and I blasted our way through Partner Push-ups, TWO SETS of military-style sit-ups, countless other endurance activities and even an extra lap around the park. All in all, it was an exceptionally tough workout. (Either that, or the break between our 2nd and 3rd session has been harder on us than we care to admit.)

So, at the end of the evening, the Boot Camp Guru announced that we are going to have a special guest Monday night. And in honor of that special guest, she announced that the workout will be "especially tough".

I dread the repercussions of this workout. Not just from my fellow Boot Campers, but from the guest of honor as well.

You see, the "special guest" is my friend Lois Lane, who has not only accepted my invitation to get a first-hand glimpse of Boot Camp, she's also agreed to write an article about it for the newspaper that claims her soul for 40 hours a week.

So, brace yourself Boot Campers...

I'm not sure what kind of ride we're in for on Monday night, but I'm afraid the pain we experience will all be traced back to me.