The "Pits" of Despair

I hurt.

Not just a little, but a whole lot. (And the pain is now spreading at a relatively rapid rate.)

Let me explain:

Day 1 was tough, but SuperCuz and I gave it every ounce of effort we had. When the Boot Camp Guru said lunge, we lunged. When she said squat, we squatted. With each quarter-mile lap around the park, we eagerly returned to our towels for (water first, and then) more abuse.

We did ALL 50 of the 50 "dips" we were told to do off the park bench and we counted ALL 40 of the 40 push-ups assigned (because apparently we START with 40 push-ups). We did everything we were told and we smiled when we did it (for the most part). And, in retrospect, maybe I should have saved some of that enthusiasm for Day 2...

I honestly thought I had escaped this "adventure" without a heap of agony, but I see now that I was wrong.

Really, really wrong.

You see, when I woke up yesterday, the only area on my body that ached was my butt. (Clearly I needed more time on the ice packs.) When asked, I told everyone that I was "fine" and that "nothing hurts but my butt!" I even got out of bed with my regular alarm (4:30 AM) and swam a 1/2 mile at the gym before heading off to work. I felt great...until noon.

Somewhere around lunch I suddenly realized that I have arm pits - and although I am no expert, I am pretty sure that arm pits are not supposed to hurt.

So, with an aching butt and intense "pit pain," I popped Motrin like jelly beans and braced myself for Day 2, but in reality, nothing could have prepared me for last night.

As promised, each night of Boot Camp appears to be different. Day 2 was "circuit training," which by the Guru's definition is: "Seven different exercises, doing each exercise for one full minute, and then a two-minute break." And repeat. 3 more times.

We laughed. We cried. We bribed AND begged to end the madness before each minute was up. But nothing worked. The Boot Camp Guru held her ground - and her stop watch - and smiled at us while we did 4 full "circuits." Even Hubby's monkey math will calculate that we did 28 different exercises in 28 minutes and about 1/3 of them were abs.

The session started off OK, but when she told us to do push-ups, I just stared at SuperCuz in disbelief. Was this woman serious? My pits were still in recovery from Day 1's "let's start with 40" crap, let alone adding to the pain with a set of push-ups in 3 different arm positions! And "burpies" and squats for one whole minute... my butt!

The bottom line, pardon the pun, is that if a muscle didn't hurt BEFORE Day 2, it certainly did AFTER.

So here I am, a 2-Day Fitness Boot Camp Survivor with the night off before going back for Day 3. Thanks to last night's workout, my Motrin bottle is empty, my "pit pain" is worse and my abs ache with each breath. And the full minute of squats really pushed me over the edge. I have been faced with Hamlet's famous question, "to pee, or not to pee," all damn day!

I have tried to come up with something "positive" about not being able to lift my arms higher than the steering wheel, (you know, in case the "pit pain" is a permanent side effect of Fitness Boot Camp) and I think I've finally done it: If I can't lift my arms, at least I'll save money on deodorant.